


A Long Journey To Find You Again

by firecracker189



Series: Our Little Family [17]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Gen, I hate that tags on here are weird becuase it contains no de aging just age regression, Memory Loss, Non-Sexual Age Play, Not entirely CATWS compliant, Phil Coulson Is a Good Bro, Phil is the best at getting his team to think logically about things, Prequel to the whole series, Regaining Memories, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, daddy!Bucky, little!steve, mentions of pierce and all those people who don't get real tags becuase they don't deserve them, nobody knows about bucky and steve being in a regression relationship yet, nsap, slightly canon divergent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 00:37:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15852678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firecracker189/pseuds/firecracker189
Summary: (Second) Prequel to "Our Little Family" Series. Set just after "The Beginning" and a few months before "The Ache Inside". Follows the events of CATWS and how Bucky and Steve find each other again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My version of Natasha is more a mix of comic and MCU, so she does have the almost same serum as Bucky, therefore when she gets shot by the Winter Soldier, she doesn't have a mark to show Steve. 
> 
> Thank you to Stormsong for the idea and for the help figuring out how to structure things for this story!

Ever since he'd been unfrozen, things had been loud and scary and confusing. But then he'd learned about the future, and made friends and become part of a team and then things weren't so bad anymore. He'd been able to figure out how to push down his Little side, learned that after his "death" he'd become famous and things had rolled right along at a great speed. He'd fought monsters, saved the Earth, learned about the internet and the I-phone...even learned about Amazon and online shopping. Briefly he'd even considered adopting a pet from the local shelter, but then realized he didn't quite have enough time in his life as an Avenger to properly give one a good home. That was one of the more depressing things he'd experienced. At least, so he'd thought...

But then he'd heard whispers. Even Natasha had confirmed it, saying she'd been shot by this...mysterious assassin while she was on a mission. It left no scar, due to her accelerated healing, but judging from her expression she still held a great amount of resentment at not having been able to track the guy down. Steve's heart raced. Fury was dead. Natasha was upset, Hill had even looked like she might cry. And this...phantom, this soldier...had killed Nick Fury. Not to mention the fact that he and Romanoff were, for all intents and purposes, fugitives now thanks to Alexander Pierce. 

Then came the running. And the running, and more running, until-- he'd never expected to be back where he started. But knowing HYDRA, they'd done all of this on purpose. The entire revelation made Steve want to be sick, knowing that all Peggy had started, all Howard and she had worked towards, with Edwin Jarvis' help--had been for nothing. An entire agency developed to be counter to what he and Peg had experienced during the war, had found out about using their cunning and intelligence, only to find that the agency they were against had been inside of their own home base the whole time. The entire time Peggy had thought she was working towards a good goal, while Steve was MPD and Bucky was KIA...their goal had been undone. HYDRA had been mocking them from the very conception of the SSR, and all the way through to its fruition in SHIELD.

Steve trudged across the darkened landscape with Natasha at his side, every recognizable overgrown landmark taunting him with memories of his past. He stopped moving for a moment and he was sure he could see the ghost of himself, running across the green with his rifle in hand, while the CO barked orders and his lungs felt like they might burst. He absently put a hand to his chest, shaking his head a little and continuing on behind Natasha. The compound was old, long since out of use, and Steve had to bust the lock with his shield to get them inside the bunker. Natasha tried to crack a joke, with her Jigsaw reference, but...it only fell flat. Steve was starting to feel antsy, heart pounding and every nerve on high alert as she headed for--was that...a computer? What the hell was a computer like that doing in such a dusty old compound, surrounded by actual boxes of paper files? 

Natasha pushed a few of the buttons and Steve's heart skipped several beats, ending with his stomach plummeting into his shoes when he saw what appeared on the screen. 

 _Zola._ How was it even possible? No. No, he wasn't going there. He'd thought it impossible for SHIELD to be infiltrated by HYDRA not days ago. But now? Now he was learning that nothing was true, nobody could be trusted, and that the war had never really ended for HYDRA. It made him angry beyond belief, seeing the man on the screen, hearing his stupid pompous voice talking about how they'd preserved him after a terminal diagnosis, still using him for ideas and...and  _that was the man that had experimented on Bucky and why wasn't he dead?!_ Steve couldn't take it anymore. Rage was pulsing through his veins so hot and so searing that he thought this might be what Banner felt moments before the Hulk appeared. 

Then Zola showed him headlines...terrible things. Headlines about himself, about the boys serving overseas...and he snapped. He hauled off and punched the monitor, shattering the screen into a spiderweb of destruction, jaw clenched to tightly he felt like it might break a couple of his teeth. But that didn't fix his problem. Zola simply swapped to the smaller screen and kept taunting him. 

But then he noticed it. The flashdrive. The other anachronism in the room. "What's on the drive?" he snarled menacingly, wanting to just blow up the piece of shit scientist once and for all. Maybe if he sabotaged computer-Zola, HYDRA would be crippled somehow. After all, he seemed to have been their main brain behind things for a good while, at least. But then Zola droned on and on about Project Insight, and they only very narrowly escaped death yet again. Steve turned and twisted, covering Natasha with his shield as the missile went off. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, these are loosely based off CATWS, but I don't own the movie and it's been a while since I've seen it, so forgive me if things are out of sequence, added to, or completely not at all accurate. I'm trying my hardest.

Not long after that they were speeding down the highway in a stolen car. Steve felt nervous and achey and absolutely covered in grime. He also admittedly felt a little bad he had to steal a car, but they needed to travel fast. They'd ditch the car a few blocks away anyway, so that Wilson couldn't be linked with a stolen car. He didn't even want to involve the other veteran, but...he needed a safe house, and someone he could talk to. Ever since he'd met Sam, he liked him. He was a solid guy, struggling with a lot of the same issues that Steve himself was, albeit Steve's being on a much belated basis due to the whole 'frozen in ice' thing. 

Steve's fingers drummed nervously against the steering wheel, and every so often Natasha would sigh as she stared out the window at passing grass. 

"Alright, I'll bite." She said a moment later, turning to look at him. "Where are we going? I'm assuming none of the registered safe houses are safe, so...where are you taking us?" 

"We're going to see Sam Wilson. I need his help." 

"Wilson..." she mused, eyes shining with recognition. "Not your jogging buddy, Wilson? The cute one?" she gave a coy smile. 

"Knock it off." he chided. "Listen, he's a good guy, and he's off SHIELD's radar. We can have a place to lie low, get cleaned up, and then regroup a little before we figure out our next move."

"And we're ditching the stolen car?" 

"Five blocks minimum." He confirmed. "I don't want to mix him up in anything more than we have to." 

* * *

 

As it turned out, Sam was inevitably dragged into more than he had to be. But Steve quickly figured out it wasn't because he felt an obligation to Captain America, the institution. It was because he saw a struggling soldier, Steve Rogers, befriended him at the VA, and decided he was worth fighting alongside. And yeah, maybe once he'd told him about Project Falcon, Steve was ready to take all the help he could get against this...Winter Soldier. That wing pack would be incredibly useful for ambushes. Not to mention, Sam had fed them and let them clean up and done what he could to clean up their clothes. 

What he hadn't necessarily counted on was Sitwell (that little weasel) being another one of HYDRA's inside plants. It took a bit of negotiating (not to mention Natasha kicking him off the roof) to get him to give them the information they needed about just exactly what Insight was. And boy was it not what Steve was expecting--though, at this point everything was so opposite what it appeared, he wasn't even sure what he had been expecting. But finding out that Zola had formulated and linked an algorithm to those gigantic gunships in the SHIELD labs was distressing to say the least. Steve felt a bit of his Little self bubbling up in a panic in the back of his mind, but a well-placed frown and arm cross was enough to temporarily dispel those thoughts and bring back his grownup self. 

Everything seemed like it was going according to plan... or at least, until the Winter Soldier decided to show up again and wreak more havoc. The resulting fight had everyone displaced and spread out, and Steve couldn't find a single location for his team. Natasha had separated from him earlier, Sam had broken off on the bridge, engaging with one of the hostile agents. Steve had to admire his courage, though, to bring a literal knife to a gun fight-- and win. While Steve grappled with the Soldier, he was able to catch out of the corner of his eye, Sam disarming the agent, taking his gun, and heading off into the confusion. If they survived all this, he was definitely going to talk to someone about making Sam a permanent addition to their team. If there even would still be a team after all this 'moles and infiltration and deceit' nonsense. 

Steve gave an answering snarl to the masked Soldier's, and launched himself forward again, dodging the incoming blows until he was eventually flipped around and the Soldier had the winning hand-- sometimes quite literally, with that metal fist of his. Steve choked, he kicked, he swung from the metal hand, feet dangling until he landed a lucky blow with his shield and the Soldier let him go. He had no time to catch his breath, immediately launching into a flurry of offensive attack: legs, feet, side, ankles, face-- and then that mask came completely off and clattered to the pavement and Steve's heart stopped. He darted away a few paces and cocked his head, staring at the long-haired man before the recognition built up so much that he simply couldn't keep it in anymore. 

" _Bucky_?" he gasped, feeling that old aching in his chest start up again. No, no...it couldn't be Bucky, right? Buck was dead a long time ago! He...he'd fallen. And Steve hadn't been able to save him. 

The Soldier leveled him with an icy stare and advanced ever so slowly, like a cat playing with a mouse. "Who the hell is Bucky?" 

 


	3. Chapter 3

"Bucky," he pleaded, as the Soldier landed another solid hit to his midsection. "C'mon, you know me. I know you do, I-it's me," he let out a pained cry as that metal fist cracked against his jaw. "Daddy," he whimpered, hanging limply from the Soldier's arm as Natasha approached from the side. It was like The Soldier had been scalded. He dropped Steve into an uncomfortable heap and turned, expressionless, immediately walking back towards his handlers as they made a hasty retreat, leaving burning destruction and a wounded super-soldier in their wake. 

Natasha put down her grenade launcher and hurried over to him just as Sam did, and together the both of them managed to get him upright and into the vehicle that Hill was driving. Neither of them spoke to the Captain as he sat between them, bleeding freely from his nose and looking like he'd just seen the shock of a lifetime. And Natasha knew he had. She'd caught a glimpse of a familiar face as well as the Soldier had pivoted away from her. A strange sense of relief pooled in her stomach.  _James. Alive._ She hadn't even known what they'd done with him once their mission and temporary fling had been forcibly ended by the Red Room handlers. Too much of a distraction for a top operative, they'd said. So they'd bundled her onto a train and sent her away before he'd come back to their hotel room. She'd never seen him again. At least he was alive...

Steve was reeling by the time he toppled out of the SUV and into the bunker. He  _knew_ it was Bucky. There was nobody else that it could have been! Same face, same voice...different build, but then that followed with being experimented on, if what Steve was piecing together in his head was anything to go by. Of course, they would have been picking out candidates for their own version of Erskine's serum. And to add insult to injury, knowing who Bucky was and his connection to Steve made him a natural candidate. Steve could have sworn that when he'd rescued Bucky from Zola's lab, the simpering little man gave him an almost predatory grin before fleeing down the hallway. He had never been sure if he'd really seen it or not, but...now he was definitely sure. Zola knew. He knew exactly what would happen to Bucky, and how it would affect Steve. How to topple Captain America with one push. 

As he walked down the concrete halls of the dimly lit bunker, Steve wondered whether or not Bucky's "death" had been orchestrated also, just how much those soldiers they'd fought against had been told before he and the Howlies had showed up. He wondered if Zola had shown them Bucky's picture, maybe talked about what he'd injected Bucky with the first time around, and told them to in no uncertain terms at least make sure that Barnes and Rogers were separated and that Barnes was alive of some sort. Apparently Bucky had survived the fall, with whatever genetic experimenting Zola had done on him. This revelation did nothing to ease the burden of survivor's guilt Steve carried. Because now it was simply morphed into a different kind of survivor's guilt. Here Steve had been in stasis for so long and then defrosted into a fairly good life (barring all this new mole stuff) and there Bucky was, MIA and MPD, being tortured and who knew what else by Zola's goons. And if records were to be believed, he'd been doing those things and experiencing those things for far longer. Bucky had been used even while Steve was still just sitting pretty in an ice cube at the bottom of the ocean. 

That feeling of creeping unease didn't let up, not even when he could tell that Natasha and Hill were both glad that Fury wasn't dead. Steve didn't have that relationship with Nick that either of them did. Didn't know him well enough, and quite frankly had been used by him. So no, he wasn't exactly overjoyed to find that a life model decoy or something of that nature had been used in Fury's "death." But he was one hundred percent behind the plan to sabotage the carrier ships. So he agreed to Fury's plan. He and Natasha would infiltrate the Triskelion, get the computer information transmitted, and...hopefully make it out alive and take down some HYDRA scum with them.  

As the two of them suited up for yet another altercation, where they fully expected the Winter Soldier to show up again, Natasha grabbed Steve's arm and propelled him over to a corner of the room. "Listen to me," she said softly. "I know him too. I know James. We were together for a brief while during a mission I worked while I was under the influence of the Red Room. We were brief lovers before they sent me away because he was too much of a distraction for me. Do with it what you want, but you should know, you aren't the only one he means something to." Natasha let go of his arm and grabbed her bag, swiftly  heading out of the room and down the hall towards the meeting point. She wasn't sure why she hadn't just told him something cryptic, and left out the personal stuff, but...she liked Steve. She wanted him to know he wasn't alone in this, and that she'd help him if need be. Given their similar experiences, there was bound to be some sort of programming in place to keep James under HYDRA's control, and she would be more than happy to help break that coding. But then again, she  _was_ the Black Widow. She had to keep some secrets. Like the fact that after she'd lain with James for the last time, the Matron had decided that she wasn't fit for having children, that she would be far too distracted if she kept that capability. They'd forcibly sterilized her not a day after she'd gotten off that train. 

* * *

 

Steve took a bit longer than usual to get his suit finished up and on all the way, due to the little unexpected nugget of truth Natasha had presented him with before she'd walked out on him. He clambered into the transport and breathed deeply the entire way to HQ, clearing out his mind of anything and everything (like Natasha's information) that might hinder him from completing the task at hand: replace the computer chips so Hill could override the controls and self destruct the carriers. 

He didn't see Natasha again for a while. Instead he and Sam stayed together as he hacked into the system and broadcast the news of the infiltration and the plan to exterminate all those opposed to HYDRA through he intercom speakers, across the building and the compound. Once all hell had broken loose and the agents in the building had started to fight one another, suspicious of just who was HYDRA and who was SHIELD proper, he and Sam had a window to make it down to the helicarriers unseen. Success followed them from the first to the second, but on the third, airborne hell found them. 

The Winter Soldier was back again, angrier than the previous encounter, and ready to deal some damage out. He fought with the two of them, damaging Sam's wings and sending him falling from the helicarrier into the river below. Fortunately, not even the Winter Soldier could take the parachute out of the paratrooper, and Sam made a safe landing in the waters below, despite his smoking set of wings. However, almost as soon as he'd caught a brief glimpse of the white fabric in the skies, Steve was being dragged back by his shoulder straps, the fury of the Soldier's fist contacting his face again and again. 

"Bucky!" he spluttered. "Bucky stop! You know me!" he insisted as his shield went skittering along the floors of the jet, towards the same window Sam had fallen out of.

"No!" The Soldier howled, angry and conflicted. He didn't know that man! Pierce had said so! "You're my mission!" He yelled right back, giving the Captain a spectacular black eye. "I don't know you!" but something in his gut insisted he really truly did know the man. Something bubbling at the reaches of his mind was whispering to him not to hurt him, not to kill him, that he would hate himself if he harmed the man in his grasp. 

"Yes!" he choked out, kicking until he was free from the metal hand once more. He gave Bucky an almighty kick to the midsection, just enough to push him away, and scrambled, managing to finally get across the beam and replace the computer chips. But just as soon as he'd replaced them, a weight slammed into him from behind and he collapsed to the ground. The Soldier straddled him and gave him an angry snarl before proceeding to repeatedly punch him in the face. "Bucky," he choked, through bloody lips. He gave him a soft half-smile as a trickle of blood flowed down the side of his face. "I won't fight you. You know me," he pleaded now, feeling his Little self bubbling up once more. "Dada, please," the super-soldier begged, as a few tears slipped down his dirty face. "Please..." 

A weight slammed into his head, and Steve's world went black. He didn't see the Soldier's horrified gaze as he looked at the damaged man beneath him, or the way he almost looked like he would be sick as he gathered the Captain and his shield and jumped out the open window. The shield he lost in transit as he tried to get a better grip on the Captain during their descent, but the Captain stayed with him as they hit the water with an almightily painful crash. The Soldier found that the straps on the Captain's suit were easy for dragging him with as he swam to the shoreline and placed him out on the mud carefully. He crouched, dripping wet, and waited until the Captain coughed harshly, water streaming down his cheeks. Once he was satisfied that the Captain was not in danger of drowning, the Soldier slipped quietly into the woods instead of returning to his handlers. He sat down on a log and looked at both of his hands curiously, turning them over, that pitiful plea resounding in his ears over and over again. 

Who was that blonde man? Why did he say he knew him? And...why did he respond so strongly when he had called him his father? Surely he was not the actual biological father of the Captain. That would be absurd. But...perhaps they  _had_ once been involved in a complicated relationship? It would explain why he felt the urge to vomit when he contemplated the damages he'd dealt to the other party. The Soldier mulled it over, all the while staring at his hands and feeling guilty for the damage he'd done to the Captain and to his friends. And that was when he decided. He stood up and went back to the Captain, dragging his unconscious form further up the banks till he'd reached a tree. Then he sat down and propped the wet Captain against his own chest, sitting between his legs. He was staying. 

And that was how Sam found them an hour later, the Soldier sitting there calmly holding an unconscious Steve in his arms. 

"You gonna try to kill me again?" he asked firmly, leveling the Soldier with a calculating stare as he wiped a wet hand down his face. He'd swum down the banks looking for Steve, and now he was cold and wet and exhausted, but at least he'd found him. Even if it was two for the price of one. 

The Soldier shook his head mutely. 

"Alright, then. C'mon. We gotta get to somewhere safe. Can you carry him?" 

Instantly, the Soldier was up and on his feet, Steve across his shoulders in a frankly impressive fireman's carry. "We should go this way," The Soldier pointed through the woods. "There's a parking lot a couple miles East of here. We can climb the fence and steal a car."

The Soldier's voice sounded like he hadn't used it in a while, or...Sam had heard that type of tone several times from other vets, or from himself. The second possibility was that he'd been doing a lot of screaming lately. Sam didn't want to imagine what HYDRA had done to the poor bastard. He took a deep breath. If this really was Barnes, then the entire nation owed this guy a debt of gratitude for being the longest ever prisoner of war. Sam bit his lip and looked back across the river. They had no choice. Hill and Romanoff would find their own way back to the safe house. "Alright." he said after he'd deliberated. "We'll go this way." 

Satisfied, The Soldier turned and began to walk back into the cover of the woods, the Captain an oddly comforting weight on his shoulders. He could hear the leaves squelching behind him and he knew The Bird was following him. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve have a chat and Sam's a good bro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you guys aren't sure, KIA=Killed In Action, MIA= Missing In Action, and MPD= Missing Presumed Dead

Once they'd trudged through the woods, there was just the small matter of hopping the fence and getting the unconscious Steve over as well. Sam was about to ask how The Soldier wanted to do it, but before he could The Soldier had taken a few steps back, secured his grip on Steve's limbs, and vaulted over the fence in one smooth motion. "Aren't you coming?" he was already walking down the aisle of parked cars. Sam didn't even have time to stand there and gape, he was afraid the Soldier would leave without him. He climbed swiftly up the fence and vaulted down onto the other side, jogging a little to catch up to him. 

"What the hell was that, man?" he asked once he'd caught up. "What if you'd dropped him or something?" 

"I wouldn't have." The Soldier's voice was so straightforward and devoid of emotion that Sam nearly stopped talking. As it was he almost ran into the guy's back when he stopped short. "This one." he pointed to the black suburban and bent down, setting Steve on the ground. "It will arouse the least suspicion. Stay here and watch him. I'll go take care of the car." 

"When...the hell did I become this dude's sidekick?" Sam wondered as he bent down and examined Steve. He was breathing, which was good, but he still hadn't regained consciousness, which was not quite as good. He nearly jumped out of his skin when someone spoke just behind him. 

"We should go." 

"Damn, man! Don't do that!" Sam hissed, turning around to scowl at Barnes. 

"Don't...do what? Did you not want to know we were leaving?" He picked Steve up again. "You should open the door. We need to get him somewhere quickly so he can get looked at." 

Sam stared at him for a few beats. "Uh, no. No I meant...the sneaking up on me thing." he opened the back seat door and Barnes tipped Steve into the back seat, pushing him a little so his feet didn't get caught in the door. 

Barnes frowned softly. "Okay. I won't do that anymore." he shut the door and turned to Sam, that inscrutable look back on his face. "You should drive. You know where we're going." 

The passenger side door had already closed before Sam was left with the sound of an idling engine. "This...is weird." he decided, before clambering into the driver's seat. 

* * *

Instead of taking the three of them back to the bunker, Sam drove to an abandoned warehouse and parked the car. "This isn't HQ, but...it'll do for the time being. I think the three of us need to have a conversation first before we head to HQ." 

"Because you think I'm dangerous." Bucky filled in the gap and Sam felt like a total heel for the resigned way the man spoke. 

"Because I think you could be under the right circumstances." he conceded. "I can't bring you into headquarters unless I know you won't bail on us and take all our news back to HYDRA." 

"I won't." Was all the Soldier said before he got out and slung Steve back over his shoulders. 

"God, I wish he'd stop doing that." Sam muttered before heading after them. There was a chain on the door, but the metal arm quickly took care of that, and soon they were inside. Barnes put Steve down gently on the floor and sat down on an old crate. 

"Put my arm in the clamp." 

"I'm sorry, what?" 

"If you are truly worried about me becoming a threat, then put my arm in the clamp." he repeated, sliding the appendage into the plates. 

"I...I'm not gonna...press your arm, man!" Sam balked. 

"It's the only way to contain me," He insisted. "If you want a conversation and you want to know I'm  not about to kill you, then clamp the arm." He gave a firm look. "Either you do it or I do it." 

Sam stepped forward and spun the lever. "Tell me if it hurts." 

The Soldier shook his head. "Uncomfortable, but there isn't any pain. Now go and wake him up. He ought to be almost there by now." 

Sam did as directed and slapped Steve's cheeks a few times. "Hey man, come on! Wake up, buddy. Steve!" he called sharply, and the Captain flinched himself awake. 

"What...what the hell?" Steve gasped, looking around the room and finally landing on Bucky. "B-Bucky?" he asked, confused as he sat up and put his hand to his head. "Why am I still in my tact suit? What happened? Why aren't you wearing your wings?" 

"Long story." Sam replied. "I'll give you two some time to talk. Holler if you need me. I'll be in the other room." 

"Thanks." Steve mumbled, watching Sam walk away from them. When he'd recovered his wits enough, he realized what had happened and crawled forward until he was sitting at Bucky's feet. "God, Buck," he looked up at him with tortured eyes. 

The Soldier shifted and looked down at him. "You know me." he stated, looking uncertain of the fact. 

"I..know you." Steve repeated. "I've known you for a long time, actually. You...you and me go way back." 

"Earlier, you called me something," he scrutinized the man carefully. 

Steve stiffened. "I...that..if you don't want me to that's...I won't--"

"I want you to say it again." Bucky's tone was almost begging and Steve was surprised. 

"Um," he rubbed at his head. "Okay." It took a moment for him to let his Little side out enough to be comfortable saying it again but soon he was looking up with pleading eyes. "Dada," he mumbled, looking like he might start crying at any moment. 

Something inside the Soldier's head stirred when the word fell from the Captain's lips, and he leaned forward a little, recognition gleaming the the depths of formerly haunted eyes. "Steve," he murmured, reaching out to him. 

Steve leaned forward and grabbed at Bucky's hand. 

"Steve," Bucky repeated, more sure of himself. "Steve Rogers. You...your mom was Sarah Rogers and...sometimes you put newspapers in your shoes 'cause we couldn't afford new ones." 

Steve let out a little sob and leaned forward until his head was resting against Bucky's knee. 

"Steve," Bucky repeated, sounding awestruck. "You...you're Steve...and you're here." 

Steve was crying so hard he could barely breathe, clinging to Bucky and whining occasionally. His Little side was completely out now and all he wanted was to be held, but he knew that Daddy probably didn't remember him very much yet. So he just listened to him saying his name over and over and let himself cry. Maybe soon he would remember him and then he could have cuddles. 

Bucky ran his fingers through Steve's hair and took a deep breath. "Did..." some things were starting to filter back into his brain. "Were you...did we um," he wiped at his face. "Did we...have some kind of..." he looked down at Steve and couldn't help but laugh softly. "I guess that answers my question. But you really shouldn't put your fingers in your mouth. Your hands are disgusting." 

 Steve couldn't help but smile around his fingers, humming happily. Some things never changed. Daddy would always be upset if he sucked on his fingers instead of a paci. 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I think i've established a timeline that can connect this to the rest of the series. If it's truly going to be a prequel then I have to connect this gap between the alternate events of TWS and the 'bucky is happy at the tower with everyone else' thing. Because the tower and the avengers kinda fell apart after TWS. So I'm trying my best to try to bridge that gap here like i did with the 'Classified" verse without getting too close to what I did with that verse, but it's going to be sort of similar. I just don't see another way around it. So here. I hope this works? I'm having a hard time connecting it to the verse as a whole and I'm not sure I even like having this story be in the series at all. Leave comments i need constructive criticism.

Once the two of them had recovered a little, Steve swiped at his face and forced himself to at least appear Big while he called for Sam to come back into the room. He was proud his voice didn't crack as he set about releasing Bucky from the clamp. 

"What's the plan?" Sam gave no indication that he'd heard anything from his place outside the door. 

Steve took a deep breath and straightened up, letting Bucky get his balance again. "We need to get to the safe house, discuss things with Fury and Hill." 

Sam nodded. "You ready to get back in the car?" he looked past Steve to Bucky. 

Bucky nodded softly. "We need to move." he agreed, looking a little bit like he was uneasy at having been in one place for so long. 

"I'll drive." Steve strode out of the room, still feeling a little like he wasn't fully recovered from a sudden drop in headspace. It worked out well enough, though. They drove in silence, Steve at the wheel and Bucky sitting beside him, Sam in the back. He could feel Bucky gazing at him now and then, working through whatever was happening in his head. He pulled into the parking deck and the three of them got out, waiting by the door with the two armed guards until Maria finally appeared. 

"I see you have company," she looked at Bucky for a minute before nodding at him and Sam. "This way gentlemen." She strode confidently despite the cuts to her face and the burn mark in her shirt. Steve thought maybe she had just re-located her shoulder from the way she held herself. "In here you two," She pointed into the makeshift conference room. "Wait here until I'm done with Rogers." She shut the door behind them and kept walking, Steve hurrying to keep up with her. 

"Maria," he began as they stepped into what appeared to be a closet of some sort but was apparently acting as her office for the moment. 

"Save it." she closed the door and stared at him intently. "Listen, I know how important Barnes is to you, but you weren't supposed to take him back with you. What if he snapped back into their programming and started funneling them our information?" Then she blinked, looking defeated as she sank down to sit on the desk, realization dawning. "We..." she cleared her throat. "We aren't an organization to speak of anymore." Maria stared down at her hands, looking adrift. "Years I gave to SHIELD, I gave them everything I had, I was fully invested...and now... now I just don't know anymore." A familiar gesture passed down her spine and she straightened up, a veil crossing over her emotions. "Alright. We help Barnes. I may not be able to tell what's up anymore...but I'm willing to give him a chance. I'll talk to Fury. I'm sure we have enough contacts left to get him the help he needs. But until I've talked to him, Barnes and Wilson are to remain in isolation unless they have an armed guard. You're free to go get cleaned up. Meet me in his quarters when you're done." 

* * *

 The 'shower' turned out to be a few pipes rigged with duct tape and a hose, but at least the water was warm and above him. Steve took his time to relax, drinking in the silence of the dimly lit room, the sound of the water hitting the concrete and draining down through the grate in the floor. He washed his hair and body, scrubbing at the dried blood. He even got someone to dig up a razor for him, and shaved his stubble off. He stared at himself in the mirror for a long while, trying to remember who he was before he finally shook himself and dried his hair with a towel, running it over his body before sliding into the clean clothes someone had scrounged up for him. Sitting down on one of the plastic chairs scattered through the room, Steve shoved his feet into the socks and shoes, lacing them up tightly and standing up. He took a deep breath, pulled his shoulders back, and stepped out into the hallway. After he'd found his way through the maze of hallways, he found himself opposite yet another desk, staring at Fury while he stared back impassively. 

"Heard you brought back a stray." Fury said after a while, just as Steve was starting to think he'd overstepped, he'd done something so wrong he would have to leave and go dark. 

Steve blinked and wiped sweaty palms on his borrowed jeans. "I did." 

"Hill seems to think he's not a threat. After seeing him in action today, I can't say I agree." he leaned forward a little and the chair he sat in squeaked loudly. "But what I can say with all certainty is that whatever they did to him, Barnes is a victim. I'm not saying he's safe to be around the general public yet, but I am saying there's some sort of way we can manage a protective custody situation, keep him safe from HYDRA's eyes and get him the help he needs." 

 Steve sat down on one of the file boxes scattered around the room, fiddling with his fingers nervously. "What does that entail?" 

 Fury looked at him in a way that said he'd rather Steve not ask questions just yet. "It means that Hill and I will arrange accommodations for Barnes while he works through any issues he might have. After periodic evaluations we can see where we stand in regards to moving him over to stay with you and the others. Stark has enough security at that place that anything Barnes might try would be localized before he could get out the front door." 

"Where would he be in the meantime?" 

"That's the tricky part," Chimed in Hill with a nervous flash to her eyes that Steve had never seen before. "We were hoping that Stark would be able to lend us a super secure floor of the tower for that. Maybe just get him used to living in the tower for a while before we sprung the entire rest of the team on him." 

"Careful asking Stark for things," The voice had Steve whipping his head around comically fast. Phil stood in the doorway looking battered but whole aside from the sling his right arm sported, fingers wrapped in bandages and a butterfly closure on his cheek. "He doesn't normally give things away, especially for you two." 

"Perfect timing," the ghost of a smile crossed Nick's lips as he settled more comfortably into the chair. "Wasn't sure you made the extraction, given the holy hell that unloosed today." 

Phil perched on another box and gave a grim smile. "Ah, you know me. I'm a lucky guy." Maria's lips pinched a little, but she made no remarks. "What's up?" he looked from Steve's tense form to Fury's impassive one. 

"Rogers here picked up one more member of the team after Hydra's little stunt. It turns out The Winter Soldier is none other than James Barnes. We were wrong about him the whole time. Turns out he might just be the longest ever serving POW." 

"And you have him here?"

"Contained, in the conference room with Sam Wilson, Steve's other guest." Maria responded. 

"They want to rehabilitate him," Steve spoke up, seeming alive for the first time since Fury had started speaking. "In the tower. That's why they want Tony." 

"Somewhere secure for him to...what exactly?" Phil mused. "Adjust?" 

"We aren't sure the extend of the damage caused by Hydra, but for starters, he's got a metal arm that can't be causing him too much comfort," Hill replied, looking like she wanted to murder someone at the thought. "My guess is that it's either a working prototype or an outdated one. It's heavy, packs a punch, and causes his entire body to shift to the left when he walks or stands. God knows whether or not that thing's sanitary. I'd like to just...give him some options as regards counseling and healthcare. But we need someone to be discrete. We need Cho and we need people who have worked with other difficult cases like Stark and Barton. People who won't back down even if things can get physical sometimes. Can't imagine the guy's favorable to anyone who wears a medical coat or comes at him with a needle." 

"I'll get things handled." Phil promised. He had plenty of connections-- Clint in particular had a reputation for causing injury to medical staff. "How is he now?"

"Fine," Steve answered. "But he'd benefit from a shower and a square meal." 

"Done. I'll go with you and we can keep eyes on him." Maria spoke up, looking to Fury for approval. 

He nodded and the two left the room together, Phil staying behind to discuss things with Nick. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
